Scars and Secrets
After an undercover assignment that changed his life forever, FBI agent Donovan Cintron is barely hanging on to sanity. His new mission is to forget, by any means necessary, so he tries his hardest. Pills. Booze. The warm bodies that never quite measure up to what he’d had. What he’d lost. It’s almost a relief when he learns his identity might be compromised—except he’s not the only one exposed. So is the husband he hasn’t stopped needing all these years later. He’d been aching to die, but for Levi Nieto, Donovan will live. To protect. To regret. To remember.
The realization that everything he loved was a farce sent Levi Nieto spinning out of control, and running away from the memories. Now Donovan is back in his life, still fully entrenched in darkness. Their physical connection is one thing, but the truth of who they are to each other remains trapped among the anger, violence and lies suffocating them. Fixing what’s broken will take more than each man exposing his scars. Secrets—and blood—must be spilled.
“You left me,” Donovan said behind him. “And as I watched you walk away I couldn’t stop wishing for one more.”
Levi glanced over his shoulder. “One more?”
“One more lazy morning staring at you from across the pillow.” Donovan’s mouth twisted. “One more ‘Van, pick your shit up off the floor’.” He chuckled then. Warm and real and nostalgic, but short. Way too short. “One more ‘stop eating all the goddamn ice cream’.” His eyes got heavy, sad, lost. “One more day of us.”
Levi missed those days too. Back when he lived in oblivion, and shared a bed and a home with a stranger. He’d been happy. Admitting that wasn’t the easiest thing, but he’d been goddamn happy living that lie, fucking that stranger, building that house of cards. When the strong wind blew and scattered everything he thought he knew, everything he loved, that loss sank bone deep.
Heartbreak smelled like Donovan’s naked skin, fresh from the shower. The ensuing anguish tasted like Donovan’s kisses. And the devastation of their relationship? Felt like Donovan’s arms, strong and tight around him. The man before him personified the wreckage of what used to be. Levi couldn’t divorce himself from that reality. There’d be no getting close without remembering. No kisses. No touching.
“I remember us,” Donovan whispered. “I remember how long you made me wait before I got up in it.”
Not as long as Levi had planned, for fucking sure.
“And I remember the first time I went down on it, put that destroyed look in your eyes.” Donovan sidled closer, his body heat and words inflaming Levi who stood rooted to the spot, trapped in the past and its memories.
So good. Those memories, they were so good. They made Levi want and wish and lust for that time, that man. “I remember things, too.” Levi cleared his throat. “I remember when my heart broke. When I learned you’d betrayed me. I remember the date and time, down to the second, that I realized you were a fraud and a liar. And I remember…” His voice trailed off as he took a step back, away from the temptation Donovan Cintron would always be. “I remember when you destroyed me, and you weren’t even on your knees with my dick in your mouth that time.”