Juan Pablo Castillo: The Interview
Taking a break from writing to bring you some Juan Pablo Castillo. Anything you wanna ask. Do so in the comments.
Av: The infamous Juan Pablo Castillo. At last we meet.
J.P: You’re staring.
Av: Am I, and can you blame me if I am?
J.P: This is supposed to be an interview, so let’s do this.
Av: Got someplace better to be?
Av: Cool. Tell me about your life now. How is it different than what it was, say…five years ago?
J.P: Well, for one I’m a married man.
Av: I noticed that. How’s that working out for ya?
J.P: S’working out great.
Av: Yeah? You don’t look happy right now. In fact you look pissed, which I’m not ashamed to say, gets me twitchy.
J.P: I don’t like talking about myself. Or my relationship. Or my life.
Av: You talk to your pretty boy just fine.
J.P: But you’re not my pretty boy, are you?
Av: I can be whoever you want me to be.
J.P: ::Rolls his eyes:: Yeah, aight.
Av: You’ve got a baby on the way. How does that make you feel?
J.P: You a psychiatrist now?
Av: Like I said, whoever you want me to be. But seriously, how you feel J.P? You ‘bout to be a dad.
J.P: I’m looking forward to it. But I won’t lie and say that shit isn’t scaring the piss outta me, because it is. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for it.
Av: No one’s ever ready for it. You simply take it a day at a time. Did Shane confide in you about how he felt about it, his doubts and insecurities?
J.P: He did.
Av: Did you make it better?
J.P: Did my best, for damn sure.
Av: You love that boy, don’t you?
J.P: That boy is my husband. And yes.
Av: The day of your wedding. Tell me about that, about everything leading up to the I do’s.
J.P: Not much to tell. Shane’s father and brother threatened to cut my balls off if I hurt him. I thought I would be scared, you know? Here I am, about to take this huge fucking step, and I wasn’t even scared. I just wanted to get it done, so everyone would know who he was.
Av: And who was he?
Av: Why did you go back to Brooklyn to get married? You could have done that a number of places.
J.P: But Brooklyn is where we began, where our history resides. And to Shane, it represented safety, among so many other things. He chose the location, I simply showed up. I’d have done the same if he’d picked the freaking moon.
Av: You’ve become a big softy, haven’t you?
J.P: I’ve always been a softy. I just didn’t have anyone around me who I cared enough to be soft with.
Av: You had Angel at one time.
J.P: ::shakes his head:: I never had Angel.
Av: You wanted to have him. You cared deeply for him, wanted to kill to have him. You loved him so fiercely that losing him sent you into a homicidal spiral.
J.P: That’s true. I loved Angel. It tore me up when he walked away from me and the gang. I would never deny loving him, and what losing him drove me to do, but as much as I loved Angel, Shane is my soul. I survived losing Angel with no problems, but I know myself, and I would never be able to recover if I lost Shane. I’d want to die, and I’d take as much people as I can with me.
Av: Shane feels the same way, you know. I’ve looked into his eyes as he talked about your life together. I’ve seen the expression on his face when I mention your name. It’s humbling. How do you feel when he looks at you?
J.P: Bodied. Every time I walk through the door and his eyes light up, every time he enters the kitchen in the mornings, yawning, stretching, scratching, and he sees me standing there, making breakfast. Every time our eyes meet across the pillows, he bodies me. The look in his eyes, it kills me every time, and I can’t get enough of it.
Av: Do you think you deserve it, happiness, a family? You’ve done some fucked up shit. Should someone like Juan Pablo Castillo have it all? Are you allowed to be happy?
J.P: I don’t give two fucks about what I’m allowed, or should or shouldn’t have. That’s not how I roll. I take what I want. Waiting around for my happiness to find me is a weak-ass game, not one I’m interested in playing. I’m always going to take what I want. I’m always going to make it work for me.
Av: So you took it, took Shane, and constructed your new life, your new happiness?
J.P: Hells yeah. Duke, everything else is for the birds.
Av: Well, Jack certainly feels as if you took Shane from him.
J.P: Oh, we gon’ talk Jack now?
Av: You knew we would.
J.P: I don’t want to talk about Jack.
Av: Why not?
J.P: Because it reminds me that he’d still alive somewhere.
Av: You regret not dealing with him permanently?
J.P: After what he did? You bet your sweet ass.
Av: Aw, thank you. Your ass is also sweet. I mean…from what I can see. Which isn’t much. If you feel like standing and doing a little twirl for me, I wouldn’t stop you.
Av: Aight. Fine. You know you can’t hurt Jack, that would be something Shane would never forgive.
J.P: Yeah. I know.
Av: At least Jack is out of your lives.
J.P: If he does show his mug, all bets are off.
Av: How did you meet Levi Nieto?
J.P: Did he tell you?
Av: Not yet. H’s a bit tight-lipped, understandably so.
J.P: ::grins:: Then I think I’ll keep my peace and let him tell you himself.
Av: No fair! Did you know his true identity when you first met?
J.P: No. He told me later after he found out who I was.
Av: Was he a good lay?
J.P: I’m not gonna do that, talk about having sex with another man. Shane’s gonna read this.
Av: Ah. And he might what? Kick your ass?
**Part Two Coming Soon**