Part 2: Interview w/a Pretty Boy
Here’s your part two of Shane’s interview. This is the final part. Think I’ve asked all the questions. Next is J.P. but not for a bit.
Av: Your man was in love with someone else for a really long time. His best friend.
Shane: ::nods:: Yes
Av: Yet I see that you and he, and Angel and Gabe are inseparable. You’re close friends now, but there was a time when you doubted J.P. was over him, when you almost gave up on everything because of it.
Shane: I wouldn’t deny learning Angelo was the man who’d held J.P.’s heart for so ling damn near killed me. Especially when he told me Angel was still alive.
Av: You felt threatened.
Shane: I felt…in that moment I felt that things were still unresolved between those two. I felt that J.P. only allowed himself to care for me because Angel was no longer an option.
Av: Do you really think that?
Shane: Not now I don’t. But then I couldn’t find any other explanation.
Av: You pushed him away.
Shane: ::laughs:: I tried. Thank God he didn’t listen to me.
Av: You know damn well that boy is never leaving your side.
Shane: I do know that. I do. But I am human and doubts and fears and shit like that are normal.
Av: Did you ever get the chance to speak to Angel, to see that he wasn’t a threat to your relationship?
Shane: I didn’t talk to him, I just watched him with his husband and it took me two seconds to see the truth. There was never a threat, I had nothing to worry about.
Av: Gabe had to deal with the same things as you, you know. He had to deal with being around J.P. knowing how Pablo felt about Angel, and knowing that J.P. wanted to kill him once upon a time simply for being the one Angel chose.
Shane: I know, and I can’t lie. That hurts. It does. Knowing how much J.P. cared for Angel. It hurts, but that’s on me. I like Angel and Gabe, I like hanging with them. I like being friends with them. They’ve been good to us, there for us, and we’ve reciprocated. And yes, between the four of us lies a messy complicated history, but honestly I wouldn’t change it. I wouldn’t. Because it’s taken me here, brought me to this point where there aren’t words to describe my kinda happy.
Av: Do you know what happened to York?
Shane: I do. I’m not sharing though.
Av: J.P. told you what he did to him?
Shane: He did.
Av: Cool. Syren Rua.
Shane: What about him?
Av: He was all over your man, kissing on him.
Shane: I know what Syren and J.P. did that night. It’s forgiven, I’ve already forgiven them both.
Av: But you haven’t forgotten. I saw the way you reacted to Syren at his house when Càtia was taken.
Shane: Shit. No, I haven’t forgotten and I don’t like when another man touches J.P., doesn’t matter that man’s identity. No one should touch him.
Av: Possessive much?
Shane: I am possessive. I am. And I’m very proud of that. I accept it about myself. I don’t want anyone looking at, or touching, J.P.
Av: Why do you think that is? You know he’s not about to cheat on you.
Shane: ::shrugs:: Just the way I am. He got a new tattoo and I had to sit and watch some strange burly man touch his naked skin. That was torture. I couldn’t take it.
Av: What did you do?
Av: After the man finished tattooing him. Did you stake your claim?
Shane: Not too ashamed to say I did. Fucked him right there in the bathroom. ::looks down at him hands:: I think I still have his teeth marks on my knuckles.
Av: But J.P. loves that, doesn’t he? Because he’s just as rabid in his possession of you.
Shane: ::grins:: he has his moments.
Av: Hm. I bet. Your man has a big heart, he’s there for the people he cares about.
Shane: He is, which is one of the things I really love about him.
Av: That generosity extends to ex-lovers, too. Namely Levi.
Shane: It does.
Av: So tell me, how does that make you feel?
Shane: Should I be feeling some type of way? If Levi needs help, J.P. will help if he can and I will support that decision. Having Levi in our lives, or even on the periphery of it doesn’t threaten me or make me question anything about my relationship.
Av: Strong words. Tell us your favorite kiss.
Shane: Our first kiss on the boat.
Av: Mmm. That was some kinda juicy. Why is it your fave?
Shane: Because I didn’t know him, he didn’t know me, but he gave me something of himself then. He gave me his biggest secret without knowing what I could or would do with it. He trusted me even then, although I don’t know if he saw it that way. He allowed me to see him, to see through the cracks in the tough façade he presented everyone else.
Av: So basically you fell right the fuck in love with him then.
Av: And fave love scene?
Shane: Upstairs in the gang headquarters. The sex was mind blowing, of course, but I remember the aftermath when J.P. told me about his father and what he’d done.
Av: He brought you in deeper into his life, the real him. Showed you his pain and his demons.
Av: Do you think you’ll tell your children about J.P.’s past and how you met?
Shane: Sure. By the time they’re old enough to know, they’ll think of us a their naïve parents who know nothing about life or their problems and it might be fun to sit them down and tell them just how much we do know.
Av: You ever think about letting others watch while you and J.P. get nasty?
Av: I’m thinking we can sell tickets to that event. I’d make a killing.
Shane: We’re not exhibitionists. No one’s watching us.
Av: But you guys didn’t seem to mind at Syren’s house.
Shane: ::blushes:: That was…extenuating circumstances.
Av: Was it? And how do I make another extenuating circumstance happen right here, right now?
Shane: No one’s watching us ever.
Av: Did you ask J.P.? He might like it, that boy is a freak.
Av: I’m saying. You guys are no fun, keeping all that good shit for yourselves. You ever wondered what it’d be like to be with a woman? ’Cause I’d like to volunteer, and I know a few of my friends who’d line up for the chance.
Shane: Uh. No thanks.
Av: Let me know if you change your mind. Where is your husband, by the way?
Shane: Hanging with Heather and Sophia.
Av: He’s really bonded with them, hasn’t he?
Shane: They love him and he loves them. Which is a relief. I was scared his tattoos and rough exterior would scare off Heather, but I think she might even be crushing on him a little.
Av: Was there a debate as to who you’d use as a surrogate or did you always know you’d use her?
Shane: I didn’t always know. When we began seriously planning it, J.P. suggested her, because obviously we know and trust her, but I wasn’t sold on the idea. I didn’t know how my brother Rich would feel about seeing his wife pregnant with another man’s child.
Av: But everything worked out.
Shane: Oh yeah. I worried for nothing.
Av: And now you’re a married man. About to be a father.
Shane: I have everything I’ve ever wanted. J.P. gave me that, I know that for sure, because if I didn’t have him in my life I wouldn’t have anything else, the house, the baby. None of it. It’s all because of him.
Av: He’s always said you’re his first priority. He’d die for you. He’s already killed for you.
Shane: I know how much he loves me, which is why dealing with Levi isn’t a big deal, being friends with Angel and Gabe, dropping everything to help out Syren isn’t an issue, because I have my man by my side. Just as he loves me I love him, just as he protects me and watches out for me, I do the same for him. I haven’t had the chance to end a life for him, but there’s no doubt in my mind that to protect my husband, to protect my family, I’d do whatever it takes.
Av: Can you imagine how much your life has changed? That meeting in the diner with York when you saw J.P. for the first time, did you think you’d be here now?
Shane: I knew he scared me, not in a he’s gonna hurt or kill me kind of way, but in a he’s going to make me want things, feel things kinda way. I wasn’t prepared for that.
Av: And has he made you feel things, want things?
Shane: I think you know that answer is yes. He gives me love, more than I’ll ever know what to do with. More than I’d ever be able to handle in two lifetimes, but that’s who he is. He’s got a big heart. And I own it. As he owns mine.
Av: Where do you see yourselves in fifty years?
Shane: Side by side. Old, gray, wrinkled, and side by side.